Guys 101
i think someone should make a blog to teach guys how to act on dates. 2 of my friends went out last night and both had disaster dates bc the guys were horrible daters. some things you would think are obvious but i guess theyre not-
1. if its raining, get a cab. this should be obvious.
2. if youre going someplace far, offer to take a cab. if u ask "do you mind walking" the girl will lie and say no of course not. but if you first ask "do you want to take a cab" then she will feel more comfortable saying yes please. this is especially improtant when shes wearing high heels or not so comfy shoes to look good!
3. find out what she thinks is fun- dont just go places that you like
4. try to pick up on vibes- dont drop the shadchan awkwardly at the last 5 seconds of the date unless ur sure that she would want that. alot of times guys do this and the girl says fine even though she doesnt want to go out on another date bc you catch her by surprise or she doesnt want to insult the guy...
5. im not saying you need to throw your money out the door, but by the third date, you can spend a little more on her than $1.50 for a soda. you gotta show her youre not a cheapskate and you can spend a bit.
6.show your middos. if you dont have any good ones, then please get!!! this is huuugely important. be polite, be nice to other people you encounter (waiters, janitors, etc) this will score you extra points.
7. show that you care and are interested in her- please dont do all the talking. ask her questions and if you dont, atleast PRETEND that you want to learn more about her.
8. dont do the same thing (ie walk arund the city) for 3 dates in a row. that is a big sign of boooringness... and lack of creativity and cheapness.
9. be thoughtful- if its not nice outside, dont take a long walk or do an outdoor activity. this is especially pertinent if its bad hair weather bc shes gonna feel ugly if her hair gets messed up by being outside and thats not cool.
10. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT- a first date, in my opinion, should never be more than 3 hours. youre meeting the girl for the first time- most people arent lucky enough to have enough to talk about for 10 hours straight on the first date. a short first date is perfect and u wini either way:a. if its bad on any part, its over quick.b. if its good, you end it when its good, leaving the other one wanting to spend more time with you, and you leave it good before it sours and gets awkward adn you run out of things to say. i think this should be standard practice and done by all.
11. dont blow your nose in front of her, especially on the first few dates. its gross and disgusting.(all of this is based on past experiences. guys- you need to learn how to be good daters before you take a girl out on your first shidduch date!! and a bunch of you have been dating for a while now and still have noi clue waht youre doing. PLEASE LEARN QUICKLY!!!! FOR YOUR OWN SAKES!) --Posted by Anonymous to My Date Was Crazy at 12/01/2006
1. if its raining, get a cab. this should be obvious.
2. if youre going someplace far, offer to take a cab. if u ask "do you mind walking" the girl will lie and say no of course not. but if you first ask "do you want to take a cab" then she will feel more comfortable saying yes please. this is especially improtant when shes wearing high heels or not so comfy shoes to look good!
3. find out what she thinks is fun- dont just go places that you like
4. try to pick up on vibes- dont drop the shadchan awkwardly at the last 5 seconds of the date unless ur sure that she would want that. alot of times guys do this and the girl says fine even though she doesnt want to go out on another date bc you catch her by surprise or she doesnt want to insult the guy...
5. im not saying you need to throw your money out the door, but by the third date, you can spend a little more on her than $1.50 for a soda. you gotta show her youre not a cheapskate and you can spend a bit.
6.show your middos. if you dont have any good ones, then please get!!! this is huuugely important. be polite, be nice to other people you encounter (waiters, janitors, etc) this will score you extra points.
7. show that you care and are interested in her- please dont do all the talking. ask her questions and if you dont, atleast PRETEND that you want to learn more about her.
8. dont do the same thing (ie walk arund the city) for 3 dates in a row. that is a big sign of boooringness... and lack of creativity and cheapness.
9. be thoughtful- if its not nice outside, dont take a long walk or do an outdoor activity. this is especially pertinent if its bad hair weather bc shes gonna feel ugly if her hair gets messed up by being outside and thats not cool.
10. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT- a first date, in my opinion, should never be more than 3 hours. youre meeting the girl for the first time- most people arent lucky enough to have enough to talk about for 10 hours straight on the first date. a short first date is perfect and u wini either way:a. if its bad on any part, its over quick.b. if its good, you end it when its good, leaving the other one wanting to spend more time with you, and you leave it good before it sours and gets awkward adn you run out of things to say. i think this should be standard practice and done by all.
11. dont blow your nose in front of her, especially on the first few dates. its gross and disgusting.(all of this is based on past experiences. guys- you need to learn how to be good daters before you take a girl out on your first shidduch date!! and a bunch of you have been dating for a while now and still have noi clue waht youre doing. PLEASE LEARN QUICKLY!!!! FOR YOUR OWN SAKES!) --Posted by Anonymous to My Date Was Crazy at 12/01/2006
posted by --Crash and Burn-- at Friday, December 01, 2006
7 Comments:
Just a thought:
What if the girl showed some effort and suggested an idea for a date by the third or even fourth date. They will soon appreciate the challenge in being "creative"...
FYI- for ideas...
www.greatdateplaces.blogspot.com
crash- in response to your comment, i personally do.. especially when the guy is coming in from out of town, i offer to plan the date. and ur right, its not so easy to be creative.. but im not saying the guy needs to be super creative... just dont do the same thing (walk around the city) 3x in a row... and if u cant come up with a good idea, ask the girl what she likes to do.
11. dont blow your nose in front of her, especially on the first few dates. its gross and disgusting
Is this for real?? Maybe I am missing something...what should he do?
1. GET UP AND GO TO THE BATHROOM TO BLOW YOUR NOSE....sheesh.....
2. Guys in this day and age have forgotten how to court women -- women SHOULD not be planning the date. No one's telling you to be Mr. Creative but do different things each time for example: date 1. hotel lobby 2. Starbucks 3. Dinner etc....
Gimme a break and stop acting like such duds-- most of you have brains...USE EM!
Bigsister,
1. "Get up and go to the bathroom"-
I think that's a little much, High Maintance if you will. Shouls he excuse himself to go sneeze as well? Whats wrong with blowing ones nose?
You think a man will never blow his nose infront of his wife? Cmon, lets move past the silly stuff.
2. True, "courting women" seems to have lost its value somewhat and I am not sure why. It says a lot when a guy has a great date planned and threw in some thoughtful gestures that apply to the girl he is seeing. By the same token, it would say a lot as well if a girl recommended somewhere to go or something to do. It shows she is at ease with the guy and that she has ideas as well. She is making a valiant effort to show she is just as interested.
Girls think its great to be easygoing, which it is- but that doesn't mean they can't have input.
i think theres a difference between blowing your nose and BLOWING your nose. those loud blows can be really nauseating! and granted, a guy is going to blow his nose in front of his wife and she probably wont even blink... but on a first date, you still ahvent established attraction and a big snotty nose blow is not gonna help in that department at ALL.
ive been out with guys who literally have stuck their fingers up there to clean out any leftovers right in front of my face. on a first date. PLEASE can we all be in agreement that that is disgusting???
Agreed! Theres a limit...
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