Get a watch! and some manners...
This guy calls me, we schedule a date for motzai shabbos at 8;30. He calls me at 6 motzai shabbos and says for some reason he cant make it... But how about tomorrow, Sunday at 1? I say ok fine, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, being pretty chilled about it. So he calls me Sunday morning at 10:00 and says hes running a bit late- can we reschedule for 2? I say suuure no problem, being a laid back kinda girl. So its 2...2;15... 2;30...3... hes not here. im starting to get a little annoyed but I figure ok hes in traffic. 3;15... Finally he comes at 3;30. not a great first impression. I open the door with a great big smile and I say HI how are you? He doesn't really seem to realize how late he is or apologize. So I shake it off. I take an umbrella since its raining and we get in the car, off to the city to another wonderful hotel lobby, where we actually have lots to talk about and a great conversation.
Then he was getting hungry so we decided to walk to Mr. Broadway.. But first we dropped off our umbrellas in the car since it stopped raining. 5 minutes into the walk, it starts pouring and here I am, no umbrella, no hood, and no more straight and beautiful hair. hes hysterical and thinks its the funniest thing in the world, and not once does he offer to hail a cab or anything like that... Well skip to the end of the date 1 and half long hours later... After speaking to the shadchan, I decided to try and give it another shot. Well, he shows up a half hour late to the second date as well, starting off with a wonderful second impression, takes me to a farmers market where its freezing, smells like raw fish, and really crowded. He makes us go over to each booth and ask them questions like "do you like being a farmer? Does anyone really buy your stuff? What kind of cows do you have on your farm?" well after walking around for a bit, I kind of hint that its time to end this date, but originally I told him I needed to be back at 1, and it was only 12;30...
He drives me back home and I open the door to leave and say thank you, when he goes, "where are you going, its only 12;30?? We have a half hour!" so im like "ooookkk...." and he starts giving me a dvar torah about toilets and flushing on shabbos and how in his old yeshiva they said it was assur to flush certain toilets bc they were hooked up to the hot water heater and blah blah blah I wasn't really listening, just smiling and nodding... Well all of a sudden in the middle of the conversation he goes "you have really big pores! I can see them from over here!"I was only a little bit, well actually COMPLETELY startled and shocked and thrown off guard and I don't think I really knew what to say so I just gave him a weird look and said "UHM... ok..." and then he continued on with his toilet dvar torah as if nothing happened, as I was watching the car clock as it got closer and closer to 1;00. finally at 12;59 he finishes up his dvar torah and I said "well thank you so much for leaving me with such a beautiful toilet dvar torah," and I opened the door to leave. Then he started getting out of the car to walk me to the door and I said,"no no its not necessary I can walk myself," and he said "why, are you embarrassed?" and I said "well yes actually I am, but thanks for everything" and I ran into the house, hoping never to see him again.
Posted by singingintherain to My Date Was Crazy
10:58 PM, November 20, 2006
Then he was getting hungry so we decided to walk to Mr. Broadway.. But first we dropped off our umbrellas in the car since it stopped raining. 5 minutes into the walk, it starts pouring and here I am, no umbrella, no hood, and no more straight and beautiful hair. hes hysterical and thinks its the funniest thing in the world, and not once does he offer to hail a cab or anything like that... Well skip to the end of the date 1 and half long hours later... After speaking to the shadchan, I decided to try and give it another shot. Well, he shows up a half hour late to the second date as well, starting off with a wonderful second impression, takes me to a farmers market where its freezing, smells like raw fish, and really crowded. He makes us go over to each booth and ask them questions like "do you like being a farmer? Does anyone really buy your stuff? What kind of cows do you have on your farm?" well after walking around for a bit, I kind of hint that its time to end this date, but originally I told him I needed to be back at 1, and it was only 12;30...
He drives me back home and I open the door to leave and say thank you, when he goes, "where are you going, its only 12;30?? We have a half hour!" so im like "ooookkk...." and he starts giving me a dvar torah about toilets and flushing on shabbos and how in his old yeshiva they said it was assur to flush certain toilets bc they were hooked up to the hot water heater and blah blah blah I wasn't really listening, just smiling and nodding... Well all of a sudden in the middle of the conversation he goes "you have really big pores! I can see them from over here!"I was only a little bit, well actually COMPLETELY startled and shocked and thrown off guard and I don't think I really knew what to say so I just gave him a weird look and said "UHM... ok..." and then he continued on with his toilet dvar torah as if nothing happened, as I was watching the car clock as it got closer and closer to 1;00. finally at 12;59 he finishes up his dvar torah and I said "well thank you so much for leaving me with such a beautiful toilet dvar torah," and I opened the door to leave. Then he started getting out of the car to walk me to the door and I said,"no no its not necessary I can walk myself," and he said "why, are you embarrassed?" and I said "well yes actually I am, but thanks for everything" and I ran into the house, hoping never to see him again.
Posted by singingintherain to My Date Was Crazy
10:58 PM, November 20, 2006
posted by --Crash and Burn-- at Tuesday, November 21, 2006
1 Comments:
i think someone should make a blog to teach guys how to act on dates. 2 of my friends went out last night and both had disaster dates bc the guys were horrible daters. some things you would think are obvious but i guess theyre not-
1. if its raining, get a cab. this should be obvious.
2. if youre going someplace far, offer to take a cab. if u ask "do you mind walking" the girl will lie and say no of course not. but if you first ask "do you want to take a cab" then she will feel more comfortable saying yes please. this is especially improtant when shes wearing high heels or not so comfy shoes to look good!
3. find out what she thinks is fun- dont just go places that you like
4. try to pick up on vibes- dont drop the shadchan awkwardly at the last 5 seconds of the date unless ur sure that she would want that. alot of times guys do this and the girl says fine even though she doesnt want to go out on another date bc you catch her by surprise or she doesnt want to insult the guy...
5. im not saying you need to throw your money out the door, but by the third date, you can spend a little more on her than $1.50 for a soda. you gotta show her youre not a cheapskate and you can spend a bit.
6.show your middos. if you dont have any good ones, then please get!!! this is huuugely important. be polite, be nice to other people you encounter (waiters, janitors, etc) this will score you extra points.
7. show that you care and are interested in her- please dont do all the talking. ask her questions and if you dont, atleast PRETEND that you want to learn more about her.
8. dont do the same thing (ie walk arund the city) for 3 dates in a row. that is a big sign of boooringness... and lack of creativity and cheapness.
9. be thoughtful- if its not nice outside, dont take a long walk or do an outdoor activity. this is especially pertinent if its bad hair weather bc shes gonna feel ugly if her hair gets messed up by being outside and thats not cool.
10. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT- a first date, in my opinion, should never be more than 3 hours. youre meeting the girl for the first time- most people arent lucky enough to have enough to talk about for 10 hours straight on the first date. a short first date is perfect and u wini either way:
a. if its bad on any part, its over quick.
b. if its good, you end it when its good, leaving the other one wanting to spend more time with you, and you leave it good before it sours and gets awkward adn you run out of things to say.
i think this should be standard practice and done by all.
11. dont blow your nose in front of her, especially on the first few dates. its gross and disgusting.
(all of this is based on past experiences. guys- you need to learn how to be good daters before you take a girl out on your first shidduch date!! and a bunch of you have been dating for a while now and still have noi clue waht youre doing. PLEASE LEARN QUICKLY!!!! FOR YOUR OWN SAKES!)
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